The Dating Game
The dating game is one that I suck at playing. As a 29 year old virgin! Okay born again virgin!! Hell no! Okay okay I just haven't boned in a while, a long while!!! *Cough 5 years cough cough* Not to say that I don't enjoy playing, but ya girl's been out the game. Now that I look back, I fondly remember the Best Buy guy, neighbor bae, naughty church boy, college hunk and of course there was a Vegas fling in there. As much fun as they all were, none of them quite lit my fire. That spark of love was never really ignited so I figured why not use some Tinder!!! Haaah sorry I had to.
In my last post I mentioned that I joined the dating app Tinder. I would have joined all the apps but I haven't updated my iPhone. The other dating platforms won't download on my phone. I'm not updating my phone, it'll break as soon as I do. So F* them Tinder is like come as you are, even if that means old and busted(my phone, not me, I hope). Anyway the app is fun! I'm going to push this game thing further and say the app feels kinda like a video game. It reminds me of that fruit ninja game at arcades. Instead of swatting fruit I swat away the frogs and swipe right on the Princes. Then some how they end up sending me pics of their wands. Leaving me all confused in a fairy tale cluster fuck.
Nevertheless I ended up on a breakfast date with this guy who works for a military drone company. As a pacifist this threw me for a loop. My instinct was to say no thanks when he asked me out, but he was hot so I said yes, duh. We met up at a local egg spot. He told me about being in the military, his past love life, his hopes and dreams. It was nice. He was nice. He was buff but his outfit was no bueno. Overall I would give it a score of 6/10. If he asked me out again I'd say sure why not.
There was no hanky panky, not even a kiss. Although he did give a great bear hug. I did feel a little warm and snuggley inside but I think that was just the ice around my heart melting a little. Awww so sad, no the saddest thing was that the only thing that got wet on that date was my omelette. This chick came out of nowhere and hurled her phone onto our table and knocked my water onto my plate as I was transferring my food into a leftovers container!!!!!!! That omelette was so good, I was devastated. I think the girl was sent as sabotage from his ex wife or maybe my arch nemesis(you know who you are). Whatever! It doesn't matter if my favorite part about the date was my omelette that says all I need to know. Back in the game I go! Comment, like, subscribe! Let me know if you are winning or losing in the dating game.